All of us carry around baggage: some more than others...the cause may be fear,
our defense mechanisms, past/present hurts. Who knows but the baggage is still
there for us to deal with.
Much of this is woven into an intricate net that helps us define who and what
we are. Our baggage is comfortable and familiar. But it can also be
limiting. Therapists and healers recommend we learn to release the issues
and habits that impede our growth and happiness. But how?
"Letting go" sounds like such a simple act. But as humans, we cling
ferociously to all that seems to make us what we are. We fear that if we
relinquish our stuff -- even if it is getting in our way -- there will be
nothing left of us. This is the primary reason that letting go is so
difficult .
The other reason is our emotional involvement with our baggage: we still
harbor anger over that relationship; we're still trying to please our parent.
Defusing the emotional component requires that we view the past with a
loving detachment. Look at the issue as having brought us to where we are;
realize that it is no longer needed. When we aren't all worked up about
something, it's easier to release it. Of course, don't expect yourself to
do this overnight. This is a process that takes time.
An important part of letting things go is accepting that you will never be
perfect. Much of our baggage stems from a weak ego which seeks propping up
from external sources. We try to appear perfect to others. This inhibiting
behavior sets up the cycle of defensiveness and fear that makes for a very
stressful life. Accepting yourself, warts and all, is a healthier choice.
This doesn't mean you should stop learning and growing: on the contrary,
surrendering the need for perfection frees you up to pursue growth with
fewer roadblocks and less self-criticism when you make mistakes.
Letting go of your baggage is a long process that takes time and patience.
Don't hate yourself for the illusions and beliefs that have caused you pain
up to now. Recognize that they have all been part of the process and have
brought you to where you are.
Now that you are aware of them, you have no more need for them. Learn to
love them as the teachers they have been, then set them free.
Then maybe we can all be free........
Source: The Portable Therapist, Susanna McMahon, PhD/Dell, 1992.