Lifes Little Truths

* Trust everybody ... then cut the cards.

* Two wrongs are only the beginning.

* If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

* To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

* Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget.

* Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

* Quality assurance doesn't.

* The tough part of a Data Processing Manager's job is that users don't really
know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.

* Exceptions always outnumber rules.

* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research

* No one is listening until you make a mistake.

* He who hesitates is probably right.

* The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.

* If something is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.

* One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.

* A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

* The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the
bread.

* The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.

* When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear. When there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.

* The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.

* The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

* You never want the one you can afford.

* Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good price.

* If it says "one size fits all," it doesn't fit anyone.

"War doesn't determine who's right, war determines who's left."

"If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people.""

"Man who fart in church sit in his own pew!"

Back Home